{"product_id":"homosexwhale-organic-cotton-apron","title":"Homosexwhale Organic Cotton Apron","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHomosexwhale: gay marine biology, dinner at seven.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Homosexwhale Organic Cotton Apron is an organic cotton kitchen apron featuring rainbow-striped whale and heart graphic hanging on driftwood rack, blending playful pride with kitchen functionality. It takes the Homosexwhale design and turns it into practical queer kitchenwear with enough personality to work before anyone has even tasted the food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHomosexwhale is queer camp at its most zoologically unnecessary: take homosexuality, add a whale, refuse to explain further. Marine biology has not endorsed the term, which is part of its charm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe animal may be aquatic, terrestrial or extraterrestrial. The need for enough salt remains universal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is for the cook, baker, host, chaotic sous-chef or domestic diva who wants practical kitchen protection without dressing like a tasteful farmhouse catalogue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt makes a brilliantly specific funny queer apron for the friend, partner, chosen-family icon or domestic menace who would actually understand the reference. As a camp LGBTQ+ cooking gift, it feels far more personal than generic rainbow kitchenware while still being useful enough to survive the sauce.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe substantial organic cotton gives you real protection from flour, grease and sauce, while adjustable back straps help you find a comfortable fit. A large divided front pocket keeps utensils, tasting spoons, your phone or emergency tongs close when the kitchen starts serving crisis. There is no approved body for queer domesticity. Hairy, soft, muscular, flat, curvy, scarred, changing and beautifully ordinary bodies all get to cook.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHomosexwhale Organic Cotton Apron Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOriginal Queer In The World Homosexwhale design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% organic cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 7.08 oz\/yd² (240 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdjustable back straps for a comfortable fit across different body shapes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUpdated streamlined neck strap without the buckle shown in some older product photos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLarge front pocket divided into two practical compartments\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for Pride brunches, queer dinner parties, baking, barbecues and everyday cooking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA sharply specific funny queer apron or camp LGBTQ+ cooking gift\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUseful protection against flour, grease, sauce and overconfident whisking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach apron is made especially for you after you place your order. Producing pieces on demand rather than in bulk helps reduce unnecessary overproduction, so thank you for choosing a more considered way to shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSizing note:\u003c\/strong\u003e This is a one-size apron. Use the apron measurements below to check the fit and coverage you prefer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImperial Sizing Chart (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLength\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWidth\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStrap\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eOne size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMetric Sizing Chart (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLength\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWidth\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStrap\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eOne size\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCook loudly. Season aggressively. Serve cunt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Queer In The World Originals","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67977355559279,"sku":"cyd1793469939598","price":29.19,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0975\/8395\/6335\/files\/homosexwhale-organic-cotton-apron_1.png?v=1793469951","url":"https:\/\/owencatlitter.shop\/products\/homosexwhale-organic-cotton-apron","provider":"My Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}